i feel like these are definitely the 4 stages of masturbation
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
*dentist slaughters family in front of you*
they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
Jack Sparrow’s way of telling you your hair is ratchet.
That’s Captain Jack Sparrow you uneducated shit